Typically to my knowledge, human race are of only two types …Rest all…I doubt if they belong to the same race.
Finally after these early greet drama … finally get out of the house after 2 hours …Now he has to show off he owns the car and he is not just a driver…
What if he says: The engine is making rattling noises, let me see what’s going on under the hood
what it means: He wants you to believe that he knows what the hell is under the hood, even though the only thing he can name there is the dipstick.
How to handle it: Have pity and pretend to believe him. Just gently request him not to actually try to repair anything in there.
What if she says: Our car is making some rattling noises. Can you get it fixed?
What it means: a rattle toy in the backseat
How to handle it: Say, “sure honey”. Take the car out “for servicing” at the nearest microbrewery and get the car fixed for a couple of hours
Once the car thingy sorts out, starts the lunch plan…Acha after the small drama again …Guys are guys…they get out of house without a plan…
What if he says: Baibeee… we should eat more balanced meals, with more vegetables and Soya
What it means: In a rare fit of inquisitiveness, he read a health article on CNN
How to handle it: Just ignore. It will pass in a few days.
Then actually comes the concern part ….I really donno how factual it would be too :-P
She says: How was your day honey? I mean yesterday … Kal baat nahi huyi na since you were upset
What it means: She wants you to ask how her day was
How to handle it: Assuming, you are one of the 99% of men who neither wants to talk about his day nor wants to listen about your gal’s day, the best strategy is to switch to “rant mode”. For example, in response to “how was your day”, you could say, “It was the most god-awful day anybody can ever have. I mean, I was trying to tweak the CPU frequency but the audio keeps crapping out”. If she is one of 99% of normal human beings, she would have slept half way through.
What she says: You have no idea what happened at work, *sob* *sob*. I had the crappiest day.
What it means: She is looking for affection, understanding and solace.
How to handle it: If you do anything out of the ordinary, she will be very confused. So follow the normal procedure. Try to empathize with her until you realize you miserably failed to understand why her day was crappy. Then go out to the car and get something to lure her while she talks to her best friend for a couple of hours. Bring chocolate on the way back home.
Am sure after this, she would definitely come up with something
What she says: Why are you behaving like this? Why are you so irritable and argumentative today?
What it means: She has PMS
How to handle it: Use the normal protocol to handle PMS. Agree with everything she says.
Typically whatever plan you make, it gets tagged along with shopping …it would be strange if guy initiates it
What if he says: Honey, why don’t we go to the mall
What it means: He saw some exciting lingerie in Victoria’s Secret catalog which you will never buy on your own. He intends to casually walk by it and suggest that you buy it.
How to handle it: Get hold of the catalog and figure out what he has in mind. It should be easy. It’s the one with smallest surface area. Now go to Victoria’s Secret with him. Pick up the item before he gets a chance and say, “Look at this! What kind of pervert would want to see his gal in this?” Enjoy the rest of the shopping.
What she says: Hey, I am going to the mall. You want to come or not u decide… Do you want me to you get you a shirt or something?
How to handle it: You got a tough problem on your hands. If you say “yes”, you are obviously not going to like what she bought. So you can’t wear it nor can you return it (and stay committed). But you can’t say “no” to the question either because then the follow-up would be, “What, you don’t like my taste?” You can’t honestly answer the question (and stay committed). The best way to handle it is by saying, “Sure. The plain blue shirt I wear to work is pretty ruined anyway. Can you get me the exact same shirt?”
What she says: Oh, I LOVE these shoes! But they are just above our price range. *sigh*
What it means: She wants you to say, “Oh, you deserve them honey”
How to handle it: If her pout made the corners of your eyes moisten, remind yourself what kind of cheap, insensitive and thoughtless partner you are. You can’t just give away an expensive pair of shoes without a good business proposition. So the way to counter it is by saying, “Oh, it’s not that expensive honey. That’s how much the Prince of Persia IV for PS3 costs!”
Now comes the real you... a point of conflict between the two- Movie ….which one to watch together?
What if he says: I prefer to watch unrated versions of movies because they show the true vision of the director
What it means: He knows unrated versions have more nudity
How to deal with it: Because he is not particularly interested in the nudity anyway, use the nude scenes as an opportunity to discuss the true vision of the director in the movie.
What if she says: Hey, movie tonight? Something light?
What it means: She wants to watch some tear-jerker chick flick
How to handle it: Remember that, like everything she says or does, it is a test. If you whine about the movie, it will be paid back in kind when you want to watch “Star Wars :The Clone Wars.” The best way to handle it is to agree cheerfully to watch any movie she wants. In fact, offer to drive to Blockbuster to get the movie. Just stick a scotch tape to the underside of the DVD on the way back and soon you will get a chance to feign regret for a damaged DVD.
Typical men…Now the entire possessiveness comes up when she wants to touch his lappy
What he says: Honey, I created a directory called, “Work Files” on the computer. Please don’t touch it. It has important information.
What it means: “C:\Work Files\January 2009\Sources\Examples\Documents\Junk” is where he stores the porn
How to deal with it: Being the software chick yourself, it’s not hard to write a program that replaces the contents of the directory with pictures of naked dudes every night.
Oh are you checking out the tips to handle me?? C’mon... I am talking about Humans…Homo sapiens…
I am an Angel ….Even my BF agrees after being with me ever since he knew me …: D: D: D
GUYS- commitment-phobic, responsibility-fearing, light going and GALS- With unnecessary gifted aptitude to see through the intentions yet again it’s a pretention to understand the male species has not evolved with enough sensory perceptions to understand.
Here are few tips to handle such breeds…
Typical day out …
With a great difficulty a plan to meet would be made... Then starts the classic drama of wooing. Sometimes outta minds and worlds…
Firstly…
What if he says: How does my shirt look?
What it means: Shirt is just a decoy to take your attention off the fact that he didn’t wash his jeans in two weeks.
How to handle it: Tell him he looks completely out of shape in what he is wearing. He will change the whole wardrobe immediately. In fact, he will do anything to look toned other than exercising.
What if she says: What should I wear? The blue dress I wore last Sunday or the red dress the Sunday before?
How to handle it: You are in a minefield. First of all you have no clue if she really has those dresses or if she is just testing your memory. Moreover, you have no clue what she wore last Sunday or the Sunday before. If you make one mistake you will be going down the “Do you even notice me anymore” discussion. The best way to handle it is by concentrating and remembering at least one dress she owns. If you can think of one, just say, “Why not that long yellow number?” Adding “You look really good in that” will seal the deal. But what if you can’t absolutely remember at least one of the dresses she has? Then, you simply excuse yourself that you need to go to the restroom. Go to her closet and find out!
Here are few tips to handle such breeds…
Typical day out …
With a great difficulty a plan to meet would be made... Then starts the classic drama of wooing. Sometimes outta minds and worlds…
Firstly…
What if he says: How does my shirt look?
What it means: Shirt is just a decoy to take your attention off the fact that he didn’t wash his jeans in two weeks.
How to handle it: Tell him he looks completely out of shape in what he is wearing. He will change the whole wardrobe immediately. In fact, he will do anything to look toned other than exercising.
What if she says: What should I wear? The blue dress I wore last Sunday or the red dress the Sunday before?
How to handle it: You are in a minefield. First of all you have no clue if she really has those dresses or if she is just testing your memory. Moreover, you have no clue what she wore last Sunday or the Sunday before. If you make one mistake you will be going down the “Do you even notice me anymore” discussion. The best way to handle it is by concentrating and remembering at least one dress she owns. If you can think of one, just say, “Why not that long yellow number?” Adding “You look really good in that” will seal the deal. But what if you can’t absolutely remember at least one of the dresses she has? Then, you simply excuse yourself that you need to go to the restroom. Go to her closet and find out!
Finally after these early greet drama … finally get out of the house after 2 hours …Now he has to show off he owns the car and he is not just a driver…
What if he says: The engine is making rattling noises, let me see what’s going on under the hood
what it means: He wants you to believe that he knows what the hell is under the hood, even though the only thing he can name there is the dipstick.
How to handle it: Have pity and pretend to believe him. Just gently request him not to actually try to repair anything in there.
What if she says: Our car is making some rattling noises. Can you get it fixed?
What it means: a rattle toy in the backseat
How to handle it: Say, “sure honey”. Take the car out “for servicing” at the nearest microbrewery and get the car fixed for a couple of hours
Once the car thingy sorts out, starts the lunch plan…Acha after the small drama again …Guys are guys…they get out of house without a plan…
What if he says: Baibeee… we should eat more balanced meals, with more vegetables and Soya
What it means: In a rare fit of inquisitiveness, he read a health article on CNN
How to handle it: Just ignore. It will pass in a few days.
Then actually comes the concern part ….I really donno how factual it would be too :-P
She says: How was your day honey? I mean yesterday … Kal baat nahi huyi na since you were upset
What it means: She wants you to ask how her day was
How to handle it: Assuming, you are one of the 99% of men who neither wants to talk about his day nor wants to listen about your gal’s day, the best strategy is to switch to “rant mode”. For example, in response to “how was your day”, you could say, “It was the most god-awful day anybody can ever have. I mean, I was trying to tweak the CPU frequency but the audio keeps crapping out”. If she is one of 99% of normal human beings, she would have slept half way through.
What she says: You have no idea what happened at work, *sob* *sob*. I had the crappiest day.
What it means: She is looking for affection, understanding and solace.
How to handle it: If you do anything out of the ordinary, she will be very confused. So follow the normal procedure. Try to empathize with her until you realize you miserably failed to understand why her day was crappy. Then go out to the car and get something to lure her while she talks to her best friend for a couple of hours. Bring chocolate on the way back home.
Am sure after this, she would definitely come up with something
What she says: Why are you behaving like this? Why are you so irritable and argumentative today?
What it means: She has PMS
How to handle it: Use the normal protocol to handle PMS. Agree with everything she says.
Typically whatever plan you make, it gets tagged along with shopping …it would be strange if guy initiates it
What if he says: Honey, why don’t we go to the mall
What it means: He saw some exciting lingerie in Victoria’s Secret catalog which you will never buy on your own. He intends to casually walk by it and suggest that you buy it.
How to handle it: Get hold of the catalog and figure out what he has in mind. It should be easy. It’s the one with smallest surface area. Now go to Victoria’s Secret with him. Pick up the item before he gets a chance and say, “Look at this! What kind of pervert would want to see his gal in this?” Enjoy the rest of the shopping.
What she says: Hey, I am going to the mall. You want to come or not u decide… Do you want me to you get you a shirt or something?
How to handle it: You got a tough problem on your hands. If you say “yes”, you are obviously not going to like what she bought. So you can’t wear it nor can you return it (and stay committed). But you can’t say “no” to the question either because then the follow-up would be, “What, you don’t like my taste?” You can’t honestly answer the question (and stay committed). The best way to handle it is by saying, “Sure. The plain blue shirt I wear to work is pretty ruined anyway. Can you get me the exact same shirt?”
What she says: Oh, I LOVE these shoes! But they are just above our price range. *sigh*
What it means: She wants you to say, “Oh, you deserve them honey”
How to handle it: If her pout made the corners of your eyes moisten, remind yourself what kind of cheap, insensitive and thoughtless partner you are. You can’t just give away an expensive pair of shoes without a good business proposition. So the way to counter it is by saying, “Oh, it’s not that expensive honey. That’s how much the Prince of Persia IV for PS3 costs!”
Now comes the real you... a point of conflict between the two- Movie ….which one to watch together?
What if he says: I prefer to watch unrated versions of movies because they show the true vision of the director
What it means: He knows unrated versions have more nudity
How to deal with it: Because he is not particularly interested in the nudity anyway, use the nude scenes as an opportunity to discuss the true vision of the director in the movie.
What if she says: Hey, movie tonight? Something light?
What it means: She wants to watch some tear-jerker chick flick
How to handle it: Remember that, like everything she says or does, it is a test. If you whine about the movie, it will be paid back in kind when you want to watch “Star Wars :The Clone Wars.” The best way to handle it is to agree cheerfully to watch any movie she wants. In fact, offer to drive to Blockbuster to get the movie. Just stick a scotch tape to the underside of the DVD on the way back and soon you will get a chance to feign regret for a damaged DVD.
Typical men…Now the entire possessiveness comes up when she wants to touch his lappy
What he says: Honey, I created a directory called, “Work Files” on the computer. Please don’t touch it. It has important information.
What it means: “C:\Work Files\January 2009\Sources\Examples\Documents\Junk” is where he stores the porn
How to deal with it: Being the software chick yourself, it’s not hard to write a program that replaces the contents of the directory with pictures of naked dudes every night.
Oh are you checking out the tips to handle me?? C’mon... I am talking about Humans…Homo sapiens…
I am an Angel ….Even my BF agrees after being with me ever since he knew me …: D: D: D
When I tell Sandi.."U have a Cherubic Constitution"...
ReplyDeleteWhat I Mean : U have to cut down on your Chocolates and Pastries.
When I Say :the Specs make you look Intellectual..
What I Mean : Ohh..so Ur Contacts have gone for servicing.
When I Say :Sandi..U r a Safe Driver.
What I Mean :Please dont display ur uncouth driving skills when i m a co pax in ur car.