Dear SRK,
Your latest film
(even taking its name makes me asphyxiated) couldn’t have come at a better time
and ironically, exactly 16 years after a film like DDLJ.
But no matter how big superstar you are or how many cricket tea...ms, penthouses, beaches, you own or how many things you sell to me daily in name of Ra-one publicity ,you have NO right to spoil my Diwali and its weekend by your utterly ridiculous film. You come in same category as of politicians who think that Indians can be fooled by any of their frivolity.
Can you explain me some of the following points-:
Have you ever seen a Tamil eating noodle with curd and that too in such a disgusting way as you portrayed. I totally accept that due to your acting inabilities except your frequent aiyyo’s you weren’t a Tamilian in any sense.Infact you have been a TALIBAN of our southies lives. But where is your common sense, you were a highly educated computer programmer and still teaching your wife Tamil abuses, singing non-melodious songs, copying Michael Jackson steps (at least let him rest in peace), quarrelling with you son (who by the way was much more matured than you) and above all cracking below the belt jokes which were not funny what so ever. You couldn’t have been worst!!
Your beloved and feministic wife is doing a thesis on abuses and developing new abuses like chacha ka chopda, baap ka bhochda because she thinks every abuse starts with maa and behen and the worst part is you are helping her in the same (seems only literature which can get noble!!). And I can’t get why she has such an affinity for ‘main’ part which remains quite evident during whole of the film. And please do check her academic qualifications as she was unable to speak small words like kunjam kunjam and instead saying ‘condom condom’ (I think there lies best part of your film, at least you promoted safe sex and family planning).
There is a game you have developed with artificial intelligence (oh my god!) which turns itself into a super villain. Although, I, myself have a considerable doubt on my engineering skills but still how can a software convert itself into hardware and that too just by entering into a suit(see I am not even able to write it and you have shown it with such a shamelessness).
Then suddenly you die and though you are a Subramaniyam you are buried with Christian rituals (as though London doesn’t have even a single cremation ground) leave the rain which ought to have come as it comes in every Bollywood movie as soon as somebody dies. And though your wife was crying it was not at all emotional at your burial.
Next she decides to go back to India (yey! Finally movie returns home) with your son who is completely unfazed by your death (kudos!!) and trying to solve mystery of your death and in the process gives life to the worst superhero ever G-ONE (rather blue eyed monster would have been apt).which is again you in a new avatar but with same acting inabilities.
But no matter how big superstar you are or how many cricket tea...ms, penthouses, beaches, you own or how many things you sell to me daily in name of Ra-one publicity ,you have NO right to spoil my Diwali and its weekend by your utterly ridiculous film. You come in same category as of politicians who think that Indians can be fooled by any of their frivolity.
Can you explain me some of the following points-:
Have you ever seen a Tamil eating noodle with curd and that too in such a disgusting way as you portrayed. I totally accept that due to your acting inabilities except your frequent aiyyo’s you weren’t a Tamilian in any sense.Infact you have been a TALIBAN of our southies lives. But where is your common sense, you were a highly educated computer programmer and still teaching your wife Tamil abuses, singing non-melodious songs, copying Michael Jackson steps (at least let him rest in peace), quarrelling with you son (who by the way was much more matured than you) and above all cracking below the belt jokes which were not funny what so ever. You couldn’t have been worst!!
Your beloved and feministic wife is doing a thesis on abuses and developing new abuses like chacha ka chopda, baap ka bhochda because she thinks every abuse starts with maa and behen and the worst part is you are helping her in the same (seems only literature which can get noble!!). And I can’t get why she has such an affinity for ‘main’ part which remains quite evident during whole of the film. And please do check her academic qualifications as she was unable to speak small words like kunjam kunjam and instead saying ‘condom condom’ (I think there lies best part of your film, at least you promoted safe sex and family planning).
There is a game you have developed with artificial intelligence (oh my god!) which turns itself into a super villain. Although, I, myself have a considerable doubt on my engineering skills but still how can a software convert itself into hardware and that too just by entering into a suit(see I am not even able to write it and you have shown it with such a shamelessness).
Then suddenly you die and though you are a Subramaniyam you are buried with Christian rituals (as though London doesn’t have even a single cremation ground) leave the rain which ought to have come as it comes in every Bollywood movie as soon as somebody dies. And though your wife was crying it was not at all emotional at your burial.
Next she decides to go back to India (yey! Finally movie returns home) with your son who is completely unfazed by your death (kudos!!) and trying to solve mystery of your death and in the process gives life to the worst superhero ever G-ONE (rather blue eyed monster would have been apt).which is again you in a new avatar but with same acting inabilities.
You save them once from RA-ONE and decide to go with them to India; here again comes all those vulgar and obscene jokes, gay character that pushes you to drop your clothes one by one (uff!! Everybody in the audience should be awarded red and white bravery award for tolerating that scene).And once when you reach India comes the local goondas, teases your beautiful lady and you fight with them. Meanwhile she is laughing, shouting (how can I forget her expression when you touch her bosoms!!) forgetting that just 2 scenes before her husband had died even a pet’s death require more mourning than that.Ha! And how can I forget your encounter with one and only Chitti (of ‘Robot’) which even dwarfed you further in front of THE RAJNIKANTH.
At your old home in India your child is busy playing videogames as if he never had a father again uttering condom condom(again a deed done for social welfare!!) while G-ONE is doing some obscene gestures which your wife describes as power yoga to her sexually frustrated neighbor( oh! Again Mr. Satish Shah you have been such a waste).
G-ONE celebrating karva chauth with your widow, singing chammak challo with naval revealing red sari claded widow of yours(why don’t you restrict yourself for making music videos only) and so many other such points of denouement makes your film a cult classic.
Even your fight with RA-ONE was so childish reminding me of the videogame “tekken-3’ which I used to play in my childhood, and he dies so easily without giving any adrenaline rush. At least you should have given us one chance to think that you are a superhero.
There are infinite such moments in your film which had made me guilty conscious of spending Rs 150 on such an act which epitomizes the foolishness of our film industry. I heard you spent 140 crores on the film, if you would have spent even 1 percent of it on the script and screenplay, I would have written something more creative and might be little bit sensible.
Tell me Mr. Shahrukh Khan, am I really a fool??
P.S- only relieving moment in the film is the song dildara.
P.P.S- as Arjun Rampal says in film, hum ravan ko har saal isliye jalate hain kyunki woh kabhi nahi marta.Same goes with you, tum har saal aisi filmein isliye banate ho kyunki tumhara paison se pet kabhi nahi bharta.
And finally , allow me to quote my self ,Mr. Shahrukh Khan ek hadh hoti hai aur uske aage badh hoti hai…aaj tumne who bhi paar kar di…
And the live coverage of Ra-one J
1: Govt also declared 26th Oct as public holiday to
celebrate the end of Ra1 promotions ...!
2: Govt of India just announced Rs 50,000 relief to all those who watched RA1 . Rs.25,000 for those who left atinterval .
3: Breaking News...! Crocin, Disprin, Combiflam, Adol Panadol, Diclomol and all Headache Tablets Stock over after RA.ONE's release
4: Salman to SRK after watching Ra.One,"Mujh par ekehsaan karna, dubara aisi movie mat banana"
5: Rahul Gandhi to meet people affected after seeing Ra.One.
6: Even Ra.mu doesn't wanna waste time by watchin Ra.one...!
7: Nahi chala RA.ONE...! Ab SRKbolega buy one get one aur ek week ke baad bolega, RA.ONE coming soon on Sahara.One and Star.one.
8: All bachelors must see Ra.One to understand what PAIN means to married men.
9: Ra.One gives more pain than a wife - HARD TO BELIVE BUT TRUE.
10: Get RA.ONE under Lokpal bill...! Put people behind bars who made such movie.
11: As SRK hates losing hates messages he is surely going to take a break from Twitter. Now v came 2 know why he joined Google+ before RA1 release.
12: wtf News 100 people committed mass suicided after
2: Govt of India just announced Rs 50,000 relief to all those who watched RA1 . Rs.25,000 for those who left atinterval .
3: Breaking News...! Crocin, Disprin, Combiflam, Adol Panadol, Diclomol and all Headache Tablets Stock over after RA.ONE's release
4: Salman to SRK after watching Ra.One,"Mujh par ekehsaan karna, dubara aisi movie mat banana"
5: Rahul Gandhi to meet people affected after seeing Ra.One.
6: Even Ra.mu doesn't wanna waste time by watchin Ra.one...!
7: Nahi chala RA.ONE...! Ab SRKbolega buy one get one aur ek week ke baad bolega, RA.ONE coming soon on Sahara.One and Star.one.
8: All bachelors must see Ra.One to understand what PAIN means to married men.
9: Ra.One gives more pain than a wife - HARD TO BELIVE BUT TRUE.
10: Get RA.ONE under Lokpal bill...! Put people behind bars who made such movie.
11: As SRK hates losing hates messages he is surely going to take a break from Twitter. Now v came 2 know why he joined Google+ before RA1 release.
12: wtf News 100 people committed mass suicided after
Even after sharing my all gyan to u.. u still wanna watch it .. bury ur brains in the safe vault at your homes and then walk up to theatres.You never know .. if you are lucky , we need not pay for it also
Sources: Adapted from Google!!
No comments:
Post a Comment