Feminism is not a dirty word. Feminism means having a vagina
and a vagina is not an invitation. Our body is not an invitation. That doesn’t
mean we cannot still take pride of long legs, shapely calves. It’s totally our call to wear flattering necklines,
accentuate our waist, or butt.
I refuse to pack chilli powder in my hand bag each time I
step out of the house. I will not buy the advice of mastering martial arts or
acquire cans of pepper spray - ‘just in case’. Why am I to do it? Is the equality only in the
words not in the society? Do I need to fear the opposite sex when I am equally competing
in every field? Do my male friends really need extra humanity lessons to be
humans?
The streets,
stations, subways, buses, autos, trains, over bridges, cabs belong to women as
much as they do to men. We reclaim what is rightfully ours, without being
browbeaten into scampering away in fright. Why retreat at this stage? If
anything, the moment to go ahead and change the rules of this dastardly game is
now. If we weaken our resolve and move even an inch from the position taken,
we’ll have surrendered a basic right. The right to freedom. The right to
safety.
It was quite shocking when my German friend who happened to
be in India and asked me about how safe is it for people to settle in Delhi
with regards to the Delhi rape case.
Is the answer to that is a female foetus is not safe even in
a mother’s womb? And are we discussing the safety of women as those who are
‘allowed to live’? But this is not the
time to feel martyred. There is no room for self-pity. This is the time to
demand real change.
The solution lies in our hands. And those hands need not
reach for chilli powder. If we adopt defensive strategies to ‘protect’
ourselves, we are admitting weakness and anticipating defeat. How many women in
scary circumstances will have the physical strength and the presence of mind to
reach for those chilies? The onus of staying safe was never on us. Let’s not
foolishly take it on ourselves at this critical stage and let the real culprits
off the hook. And those culprits aren’t the rapists. Criminals take their cues
from society at large. A society that disregards and looks the other way when
politicians rape, loot, kidnap and murder with liberty, is a society that is
inviting trouble. Men like the Delhi rapists who must have believed they’d get
away with the crime – just like all those govt. body whizzing around the capital,
followed by a convoy of security cars to ‘protect’ them. It is this blatant
abuse of power that we need to put up a fight against. Until those changes,
women will remain soft targets. Through
all this, an extraordinarily courageous woman continues to fight for her life
and let the world know she wants to live. It’s a poignant war cry from what
could soon become her death bed. Yes. The situation is grim. And this is a
national emergency which must be recognized as one. No woman in India should
ever be told to arm herself with chilli powder. No woman should even feel the
need to do so. This is what the fight is about. Women must be able to take
safety for granted. Just like men do.
For, when Delhi gets raped, India gets raped.
Are we grown up to be flame of the house or being flamed for
the male desperation?
“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen
to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then
listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
-Shel Silverstein
Credits: Shobaa De
Denial and prohibition causes such insane behavior.
ReplyDeleteThis is not just one act but this shows the notion for women sort of is in India.They are treated and groomed to be commodities.Even parents groom girls to be commodities and never give girls the sense of pride that they are equals because of the cultural aspects.The real meaning of equals is that a girl being in a position to choose whom to sleep with just like a man decides which is where Indian mentality comes in and makes it tough. Some people in India when bored do shopping and others end up raping.This is definitely not a good thing.But the roots of this scenario too are our very own doings.
Men want women everywhere across the world and when they are denied that through law they get insane and also the upbringing.Make prostitution legal and they will not be such things as Delhi case.Make marijuana legal and there will not be drugs etc.When you deny something the force is more to get it.
Make things available in plenty so that people get bored of it so much so that law need not be strict and all. That's how Europe works and that's how its so safe.
Kashyap,
DeleteIndia is neither populated like Europe nor share the similar kind of government body.
The crime is not because it is restricted , it is because men believe they are superior. Mutual respect is there in Europe, is it in India? You as an Indian, did you ever do it? Every one ego have their own levels. Depending on the levels they lose their sanity and peak stage is they use women as inferior objects. So before comparing the crime to else where, forget not what we as Indians posses andhow different we are.
Sense of sanity and humanity is not based on legalisation of things..its the sense of humanity.
@Kashyap:
DeleteMaybe you missed the point that a Prostitute is also a woman implies somebody's daughter. The goal of any sensible government is and would be to empower prostitutes with education, skills so that they can earn the same livlihood by the meams we all do.
Also not all woman become prostitutes by choice. Most of them are forced into it, and mostly by men, and then these women either get addicted to this way of life, resistant to change, or can't find a way to get out. But doesn't mean they would have thought to choose a different fork on the road when they and if had a chance. So legalizing prostitution is not a solution in the first place, in laymen's terms, it is like using a few women who have no other choice to give their bodies in service of these men so that the rest can be safe.
Is this your logic?
What's missing in the society, from the rich to the poor, is Dharma. This Dharma needs to be reconstructed. And we need to find the means to do that.
Neither legalizing prostitution or asking women to wear burkas are anywhere solutions. They are escapism, or just an easy way out.
Two thigns. Poor thinking. AND. I really pity your girlfriend.
/Shiva Shankar Uppuloori
Nice Post.
ReplyDeleteIf we dig into the root analysis of such a problem we would end up in an infinite loop, with our current system.
There is a thin line between respect and equality. In our upbringing, equality is a difficult to achieve. You elder brother/sister could overpower almost over anything, albeit exceptions!
Respect, surely is not difficult to achieve. Leaving alone seeing women as as equals, they are not even seen as human beings!This respect for them is appallingly missing.
@ Kashyap: There are a few things to be taken into consideration before comparing European Nations and India. While comparing Europe with India, more like comparing an apple with an orange, Population plays a huge role. There are not enough Polices, Doctors or Public Servants in India for its Population. Even those present are not functioning due to various reasons of theirs.
Another thing is Sex is hidden from most of us in almost all forms. People are curious to know. The major sources, the internet and Television, portrays this in an altogether different ground which is far from reality.
More importantly, it has do with the thought process and social thinking. The social responsibility is ours and we blame it on others. Girls are seen as objects and things that produce babies or for pleasure, Hence you see groping, molestation, everywhere. This happens within families!The "Who cares","How does this affect me?", "Chalta hai" Attitude must go.
To me, even the guy who jumps the red signal, buy black market movie ticket, bribes to get driving license are equally damaging as the guy who rapes a girl .We all are responsible, for what we are, as a nation today
The idea is not to compare europe and india its to say that the needs are common all the people in the world need similar things according to their respective standards and yet some things are more rampant in some societies.
ReplyDeleteThe idea of raping is not new it existed in holy books in all the religions and even draupadi's story too is such.
So the idea is how women depict them self too is important.
If they depict themselves are precious commodities they will just get what they got back then.The idea if feminism is good but it should be understood with true meaning and not just about equal rights.
Excuse me? Draupadi was never raped. Read your books mate.
DeleteI agree that rapes are not new but don't compare them with epics when you dont have the right knowledge.
Draupati is considered an aspect of the Divine Mother Parvati with the Pandavas being Lord Shiva with each Face (Sadyojata, Vamadeva, Aghora, Tatpurusha, Isana) taking the form of one man.
There are other theories but what I've stated is the most authentic. I'm a theologist.
/SSU
The idea of more police and stricter laws for more population will work if people are sane but when that is a doubt no matter what the strictness of law and degree of punishment is it does not ensure justice.
ReplyDeleteThe real idea of justice is not to punish people its to see such things do not happen.Punishing is just one way to say if you do this this is what will happen.
The real idea of law is to give every one in the society a chance to live . Where Criminals too have a chance to change , we cant go on killing people.When we see brutal acts we often forget this and want to take it to a personal level and want brutal punishment just like the brutal acts that criminals did.The act of hanging someone is the capital punishment which means to say, We are very sorry dear x you are not fit enough to live in this society, for all other cases imprisonment is the solution.As far as this goes there is nothing wrong with the judicial system in India its fantastic.