How to piss people off?

 Of course! It’s an art to do on daily basis. As I have already told you that it needs effort to be stupid than not being it. And the best part is stupidity +Ego= Heights. I really want to tell you about a person who have been living with a motto of pissing people off all the time! It’s much like the song ‘Iris’ by Goo Goo Dolls, where he croons, “…yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive!” And his golden words are- “we need to irritate people around us all the time to feel alive. What’s the point of living if you don’t piss someone off? Huh? Tell me”!

Pissing people off – the heart and soul of his existence. So here I present tips learnt from this great soul would have mastered the art.

 We wouldn’t be here doing what we are doing if someone a hundred thousand years ago hadn’t pissed someone off and started a war. We wouldn’t be here if someone hadn’t pissed on someone else’s joy! You wouldn’t be reading this if someone hadn’t pissed me off and made me write this. So, you have to agree with me that it’s quite important to piss people off all the time. (I see...)So, how do we do it? How do we achieve the perfect balance between pissing someone off and not getting slapped, shot, kicked, stabbed in the back, kicked, slapped, slapped, punched in the face, kicked in the nuts again or pushed off a cliff? It takes great care and patience to achieve this feat, and it’s not easy. You need to pay attention. For gals, you need no effort, just go and talk your heart out during your period cycle. That serves all the purpose!

Pissing Men Off

Quite Easy- take a dig at their manhood. Tell them their girlfriends are awesome and hot. Take the liberty in explicitly describing her. Watching their face go from a normal beige to various shades of red, blue and orange is quite fun. Men are strange in this issue – I don’t know why but they always overplay their sexual exploits and this is the best way to piss a man off.

Talk about their EX girlfriends and their extemporary desires for every damn silly gal. At that time you correct them on what they are doing, I am sure they will get defensive and fart out their ego. Of course, what else they can do.  Point out every mistake of theirs, then your mission is accomplished.

Of course, the only two other things that matter to a guy is either beer or sports. Ridicule his favourite beer and you might end up on the wrong end of a well-placed kick. Ridicule the guy and call him a sissy for watching cricket or golf, and he’ll go stark raving mad.

I’ll let you in on a secret. If you know a guy who is straight and want to piss him off, accuse him of being gay. Oh, he’ll hate you for the rest of his life, and he’ll stay away from cosmetics and watch each of his words carefully whenever you’re around!

Pissing Women Off

Specially, you should know how to piss off a gal from the guy who did it!

Given that sex, booze and sports are the only three things that can effectively piss a man off, you’ll find it hard to piss a woman off with these three topics. Women are usually very secure about their sexuality/sex lives and taking a dig at their alcoholic tastes will be like throwing grains of sand at a hurtling train hoping to derail it. And women and sports, well, let me not be a spoilsport, but you know how it goes. Till I was 18, I thought F1 cars were battery controlled toys and unmanned!

So, how do we piss women off? Easy – take a dig at her age. It always works no exceptions. Tell her, “Oh, you look so much younger in your photographs!” and she’ll hate you with a vehemence second only to a supernova.

Horizontal attacks are also effective. “You seem to have gained some weight,” “Is that an extra-large top?” and “How many months due are you?” are the three most effective way to piss a woman off about her weight. Never fails.

These are way too trivial. You should try something like this guy did. Be a guy with half knowledge, wavering mind and untidily maintained and flaunt off saying it’s a geek style.

Secondly, talk utter nonsense and claim you are next to Einstein the world, no perhaps the GOD. Adding to it, go challenge her skills where she was awarded the prime laurels. Be on the other side of the world burning with jealousy. Finally, say you are the ego killer. LOL! She would definitely kick in your nuts but if she is sensible enough, she would just laugh at u and show your level.

But I am duty bound to warn you – Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Be careful.

Psychology says women are way too matured, organised and talented than other men of their age. So panga with gals might cost a huge loss for you, honey! You still wanna do, go ahead! Piss someone off today! Live a little!

Attitude you receive from a person is how you treat them!