For Better or....

Howdy Folks!

I’m alive. Surprise!

People all over the world are clutching their falling pants and wiping their runny noses while trying to hold back tears of joy. That’s all I’m going to say about my vanishing act and my subsequent return today. I’m back. Let’s not read too much into that.

I read my own blog yesterday, the dusty old posts forgotten by all, hiding in the ether. Words buried in old web pages, unseen by anyone except the odd spam bot. I am simultaneously embarrassed and jealous. Embarrassed because I was an idiot. Jealous because, well, I used to be a fun idiot. I used to think of such strange and wonderful things that just do not occur to me anymore. As though the little spinning pinwheel that is inside my soul, powering my imagination and coherence, is slowly being worn away. Soon it will be but a little pile of confetti.

However, to be frank, I am excited about the whole stuff happening around: D. At least I am in a place where I don’t have to laugh for jokes like this - My laziness is like the number 8. Once it lies down, it becomes infinite. In fact I am living in a live entertainment world. Trust me, my inner voice has a better tone of humour than these made up jokes. Try it by walking in front of me sometime.

Now-a-days, I am living on a motivation of spending my remaining life in a comatose state without uttering a single syllable just like Mr. Singh. Before you people used your impermissible levels of intelligence in guessing my profession, lemme tell you, I am not a LIBRARIAN. Adding much to my amusement, wherever I go, I end up bumping into couples and little freakily bawling kids. In such worst conditions, if ever I can still hear but highly prefer not to hear is Ekta Kapoor type bahus who are roaming in this free nation. For that matter,any saas-bahu Jodi.

Talking about it, everyone ought to get married unless they have a really good reason not to, like becoming the nun or if they are in a coma or are in under daily dosage of Ekta Kapoor. I researched long to find out the reasons that hypothesized women to get married which is supposedly their life’s biggest dream.  The most realistic one seems to be that they seem to get the urge to merge for all sorts of silly reasons like being in love, but the most plausible one could be that they have managed to locate that one specimen in the male population who is not a complete jerk.

It boggles my mind whenever I see all the forces come under cooperation and willingness to get a person hitched. Research tells us that these forces spend one hundred and forty four hours a week, on average, either in contemplation or in discussion of this stuff.  When I say forces, it refers to the family, extended family, friends, friends’ friends, colleagues and trust me even the servant maids.

Well, there are seven billion people on this planet. Statistically half of them are men. The probability of finding that one handsome, loving and sensitive male out of the pack is pretty high. It’s a different matter however that I might never run into him because he’s likely under scientific observation in a laboratory in MIT. Just in case if you are lucky you bump into him too but these same rational forces I referred too with make their best to project him as any other jerk.

So this excessive enthusiasm and the pains of bitter disappointments of those frogs that turned into princesses kept me extremely busy. Hence, no updates but I promise to visit once in a while with a new post.