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Wednesday

"If it still hurts, you still care."

Today morning when I was on face book to catch up for the updates, I stumbled upon a post of my close friend. In fact he was one of the best of friends I had. I rubbed my eyes to check if it was true. Checked, doubled checked and again checked. In fact I stopped there gaping at it – ENGAGED.

Now what is that hurting me? That should be happy news, isn’t it?

Since a year and half , we eventually we turned out to be best of friends where I had the most dreadful incident of my life. Our friendship turned fonder and fonder with the times. We’re so crazy, that people think we're high. It’s the times we laughed so hard, we can't help but cry. It’s all the inside jokes and "remember when’s". He had never been the emotional crutch yet again we knew what is good for us to be the best of friends.

And today, I get to know he was engaged through a social media site. Yes I agree, I might have given him hints of me being single then and he has tried his luck. If it did not happen, it did not happen. But that doesn’t cost all the good times we had together. How silly!

When I go upfront to ask about it, this is what I get to hear-”Yaar, glad you knew it. You see it’s all the emotions, hope you understand. And thanks for the wishes if at all you are wishing good for me.”

It should be easy, right?
 That person is no longer in your life--so shut them out and move on.

But it never is.
Memories of happy times come back to dance on the edges of reason to mock and jeer you.
And it hurts. More like hell.
Like pin pricks of a million needles.
Like hell like the jagged edges of a broken glass.

But it is long gone now, and the friendship lives only in your memories. Now I smile bravely and pretend it does not matter anymore. But deep down I remember it all for I have given. I really donno how to react but it feels like a deliberate million insult for the poor kind who respected the friendship. Adding to it is , blocking me on face book and blocking my calls.

Ok now to deny the fact would be like lying to yourself just as mourning for something that cannot be and wallowing it.
Life is full of surprises. And time is ticking.
You may be amazed at what it gives back.

So I go out there, give my best smile, Grab it, LIVE it, revel in it.
But all I can say is “Start by asking yourself whether each of your relationships drags you down or lifts you up...
Surrounding yourself with positive, loving people is half the battle of living a happy, successful life”!

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