Single people are single for a reason. They are hideously
ugly, dangerously misinformed about human anatomy or just plain unlucky, among
other weirder reasons. For people who’re currently single, which includes me,
ironically, I’ve decided to roll out a brand new strategy for attracting
members of the opposite sex.
But I prefer to favour men this time with the tips so that
next time someone who approaches me for a date will at least know what a women
wants.
Men, who would want to try out their luck in wooing a woman and want
some inside information on how to go about doing this without being slapped in
public, can read this with the assurance that you won’t be disappointed. If
women want to read this, please do, it’s probably going to make you smile at how
little men know about women.
Tips to Men:
Ok, first things first, my fellow readers – ask yourself the
following three questions and if and only if the answer to all three is “Yes”
then continue. Otherwise, this post is not for you. Women, ignore the previous
two sentences.
1. Are you a man?
2. Have you ever
had a crush before?
3. Was your crush a
woman?
Ok, now that we’ve eliminated the kids and the fairies,
let’s get down to some serious information distribution session!
Women hate nerds! Don’t show off your
intelligence to women! Act dumb! Not too dumb, because that could be a huge
turn-off! And for heaven sake, do not argue even you have a logic. Show them
that you’re a perfectly normal, average guy, who flunks a couple of exams and
yet manages to get placed in a pretty nice company. And I don’t mean a
call-center! Call center guys are NOT the ‘hot trend’ nowadays!
Let’s take a hypothetical example, you’ll understand better.
Suppose there is this really really hot chick whom you want to ask for a
dinner. First thing you should do is to drop the idea! She’s not in your league
and all the hot chicks are already taken. So, look elsewhere.
Suppose there is a fairly hot and very cute girl, who’s
single and whom you’re interested in. Now, we’re talking! You have a chance to
score a romantic dinner here! The formula is very simple – wear a black leather
jacket over a very white round-neck T-shirt and wear blue jeans and brown
hiking boots. Don’t overdo the bling factor because you’ll look gay. No
earrings, no rings on your fingers and most of all, no silver/gold watches that
dangle!
Secondly, remember to compliment her every time you find
something attractive.Be gentle and be nice .
Bus, train and chokri are precious! Respect them as your time factor.
Walk real slow when you’re in their company and give them
ample time to look at you and make their opinion. Even if you’re in a hurry,
whenever you pass her seat, slow down and walk in real slow-motion. It helps.
Do not bank on finding women in your new school or college or your new
workplace. Go and hunt them out in all the places you never usually visit. The
fact that you don’t visit these places and the fact that you’re single might
give you a clue.
Bald men are considered hot by some women, so before you go
shaving off your precious hair, try to get the girl to tell you if she likes
bald men. Not all men look good without hair. Some men have an unnatural bulge
in their faces, and if you remove your hair, you look like something the cat
dragged in. Big turn-off, don’t do it!
The type of watch you wear plays a huge role in whether the
girl accepts your offer of dinner. I suggest something black, not too flashy
and something that doesn’t have hearts or bubbles on their faces. The hands of
the watch must NOT by Mickey Mouse’s gloved hands!
Women like music, as a rule. Some like house/trace music and
some of them prefer soft rock. Other freaky women prefer really really
heavy/death metal music, and a few of these strange women will probably turn
you into a druggie of you get too close. So, be careful and don’t get into any
more trouble than you already are.
Asking a woman out on a date is quite a tricky situation and
can lead to disastrous effects. From a simple “No” to spending a night in the
city jail, anything could happen depending on how you ask them out. Some
despo-self-help books will tell you that the direct approach is the best way,
but take my word for it, it’s not! Asking her out has to be a long-drawn
arduous process in which, her tastes and dislikes has to properly researched.
Since this depends on individual women, I won’t say much on this, except that
you should not go up to the girl and say, “Hi, Wanna eat?”
The choice of restaurant is also vital in building a
fruitful relationship with the girl. Don’t take vegetarian girls to Barbeque
Nation or KFC!!
Being funny is absolutely vital, but make sure people are
laughing at your jokes and not at you. It’s easy to get confused. And if
they’re laughing at you, then laugh with them and call yourself a moron,
because some girls like that!
Be charming, be witty and be dumb. I know you’re probably
very confused by now, but I can tell you that once you read this post again,
you’ll feel really confident on approaching that girl of your dreams. Just
don’t make it a nightmare.
Hope the force is with you ! May you be a martian guy and win a Venutian women:-)
