Howdy Folks!
I’m alive. Surprise!
People all over the world are clutching their falling pants
and wiping their runny noses while trying to hold back tears of joy. That’s all
I’m going to say about my vanishing act and my subsequent return today. I’m
back. Let’s not read too much into that.
I read my own blog yesterday, the dusty old posts forgotten
by all, hiding in the ether. Words buried in old web pages, unseen by anyone
except the odd spam bot. I am simultaneously embarrassed and jealous.
Embarrassed because I was an idiot. Jealous because, well, I used to be a fun
idiot. I used to think of such strange and wonderful things that just do not
occur to me anymore. As though the little spinning pinwheel that is inside my
soul, powering my imagination and coherence, is slowly being worn away. Soon it
will be but a little pile of confetti.
However, to be frank, I am excited about the whole stuff
happening around: D. At least I am in a place where I don’t have to laugh for
jokes like this - My laziness is like the
number 8. Once it lies down, it becomes infinite. In fact I am living in a
live entertainment world. Trust me, my inner voice has a better tone of humour
than these made up jokes. Try it by walking in front of me sometime.
Now-a-days, I am living on a motivation of spending my
remaining life in a comatose state without uttering a single syllable just like
Mr. Singh. Before you people used your impermissible levels of intelligence in
guessing my profession, lemme tell you, I am not a LIBRARIAN. Adding much to my
amusement, wherever I go, I end up bumping into couples and little freakily
bawling kids. In such worst conditions, if ever I can still hear but highly
prefer not to hear is Ekta Kapoor type bahus who are roaming in this free nation.
For that matter,any saas-bahu Jodi.
Talking about it, everyone ought to get married unless they
have a really good reason not to, like becoming the nun or if they are in a
coma or are in under daily dosage of Ekta Kapoor. I researched long to find out
the reasons that hypothesized women to get married which is supposedly their
life’s biggest dream. The most realistic
one seems to be that they seem to get the urge to merge for all sorts of silly
reasons like being in love, but the most plausible one could be that they have
managed to locate that one specimen in the male population who is not a
complete jerk.
It boggles my mind whenever I see all the forces come under
cooperation and willingness to get a person hitched. Research tells us that
these forces spend one hundred and forty four hours a week, on average, either
in contemplation or in discussion of this stuff. When I say forces, it refers to the family,
extended family, friends, friends’ friends, colleagues and trust me even the
servant maids.
Well, there are seven billion people on this planet. Statistically
half of them are men. The probability of finding that one handsome, loving and
sensitive male out of the pack is pretty high. It’s a different matter however
that I might never run into him because he’s likely under scientific observation
in a laboratory in MIT. Just in case if you are lucky you bump into him too but
these same rational forces I referred too with make their best to project him
as any other jerk.
So this excessive enthusiasm and the pains of bitter disappointments
of those frogs that turned into princesses kept me extremely busy. Hence, no
updates but I promise to visit once in a while with a new post.
