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Tuesday

Things change huh ... it goes in a circle ...

It’s already a year past? Oh my freaking mad… I just did not realize the way it went in this chaos. For mushy person like me it took me a year to be anti-mush. “I want to get rid of nostalgia, me and my freakishly good memory for the mundane. Non sentimentality is my goal and needless to say, I’m not prosaic anymore”. That’s all the mind started screaming loud as a loud beep interrupted it by a text message at 11.55 PM. “Happy Birthdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Yay! “My eyes almost popped out as it was unexpected. Although I replied “tq” But my mind cribbed..Kanjoos –Maakichoos…. Phone kar sakta hai Na…Saala ...”I love u “bolne ke liye 1000 times’ kareya ...Ek no suna...bas...katam... Wtf … Why don’t people get to normal!

12 -3 PM calls were lined up to wish me. Probably that is the only day I was made princess of this paradise in this strange world. Everyone showers the utterly love on you. Also it is the only chance to live the fullest of bitterness in the name of birthday “bombs-bums”. Ouch …u don’t ask me about it… 2 days passed and I still can’t still properly on my own bum. I was bashed to brim of everyone’s grudge .Irony is that comes with a smile and should be taken with smile only.

Oh good… K didn’t call me at 12 ….his call would be on priority for me than anyone’s. Again that would be a cribbing point. Loads of flowers …lots of noise….I always enjoyed it being the birthday person …say it mine or someone else’s .Face book , mobile , mails ..All flooded with wishes...Love and nostalgic photographs… but I waited my whole day for only phone call. Just a call... only that heart knows how much I waited for it and of course K knew it too. Finally I got it as the way it comes every year!

Of course it concerns me when an aged old friend of mine don’t wish me …it hurts when my boy friend is not next to me... it frets when people walk away from my life impertinently. But K only consoles me saying …don’t expect...just respect and go with the flow. Had he not been correct, I would not have enjoyed his 12 ‘0 clock surprise … or a mail that made me smile from a parted friend of mine ...” No one can be mad at oneself and others forever… Happy Birthday “

But still small things did hassle me …like the girl next to me...who is suppose to be good of friends at work place actually did not wish me. Also the friend who is the first one to call every year on my birthday wished me on Face book. Well, it is petty if you don’t expect...but can someone stop expecting???

I really don’t have to be that dejected too as I already have more that is troubling…where the most caring friend of mine who never leaves an opportunity to make me special ,left me back as his expectation is something more from this relation. Another one comes up with a proposal when I not ready for any commitment. Another one breaks up cuz her crush loves me. The best was the guy who pushed me to wall to like him and backs off when things are falling in trail. A hard lesson that I have learnt yet again…I always knew...But ignored to adapt … Expectation – The Virus of Unhappiness!

Had I not expected what you have given then I wouldn't have been nostalgic to the point of swooning, romantic to the point of being slapped by people and verbose to the extent of getting a parched throat. Yes, I expected and now being the memory that would put even a goldfish to shame. And now things changed and as for me… I am... sand in the wind- Sandieeeee, a new life unfolds - this is for all of you, a part of my world, then and now, thank you for the wishes.
Ok in short .. my Birthday went off in the dilemma of expectation and re-framing me ... 

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