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Monday

Hum kisise kam nahi ..





First thing Hyderabadis are known for is their DUM-KA-BIRYANI but forget not their masha Allah Hindi...
They are more amusing than any... Trust me, not even the zoo …

Here go few of them :-)

An archetypal daily practiced conduct:

  • He goes to gas station to fill and says "Paanch point single oil daalo". 
  • He says "Abbi aatau miyaa" and vanishes for couple of hours or does not come back at all. 
  • He sleeps around 1 am and wakes only after 9:30 am. 
  • He drinks half cup of tea at least 6 times and buys only 1 gold flake cigarette. 

And mention not their eating habits:

  • If they do not eat rice at least once a day they will die. 
  • For them the only good dishes on earth are Hyderabadi biryani, Nahari, Haleem, Khatti daal, Tamataun ka saalan, Bhendi ka sherwa, Dhai ki kadi, Paalak ki bhaaji, Aaloo baigan, Gawaar ki phalli, Kheema aloo methi. Khaagina, Khichdi,Boti ka saalan, Khadi daal, Bagaara khaana daalcha,Mirchiyaa bhajiye,Khubaani ka mittha, Kaddu ki kheer and Fruit salad . 
Once in a week he will visit Alhamdulillah, Bismillah to eat Kalyaani biryani.

Best places for hangouts are irani café (any branch) . Mention not their hygiene. They have more relatives than the piercing houseflies around to squeeze each other.

New Generation (Males):

  • 2 out of 3 are Sharukh, Amir or Salman Khan.He feels offended if someone looks at him "Kaiku ghoorra miya??" 
  • They only want to become Engineer, Doctor or MBA. 
  • For most of them US visa is a dream and Saudi visa a blessing. 
  • Most of the boys spend their precious time at "gali ke nukkad pe", "chabootre pe", "hotelon mein", girls college, playing billiards, chatting on internet, teasing girls, changing mobile phones and spend their parents hard earned money. 
  • "Her ladke ki Amrika ki koshish chalte rehti aur side mein Landan ki bhi ya phir Bhaunai Saudi se visa bhejne waale rehte". 

New Generation (Females):

  • If she is not studying at "St Ann’s or Vijay Marie" then she is not studying at all, Shadaan College is a compromise. 
  • Stanley is the only school and college for girls from Old city. 
  • Begums is the most preferred beauty parlor. 
  • Most of them would not like to wear sharaara for the second time, “Her shaadi mein nayaa sharaara chaahiye". 
  • Most of them say" Main kapde sirf Neerus OR Meena bazaar se hi leti hun". 
  • Par actually shopping means only "chudi " @ old city . 
Par kambakth … kabhi kapde hi nahi dekte.. 


Finding a Match (Ladke waale):

All most all the cases are dealt by Marriage Bureau.
A team of a dozen goes to see the girl (to eat pastries, bananas, fruit biscuits)
When they return home after seeing the girl, someone from the family says"badi se manjli ke aankh naak ache hai nai".
Her kisi ko gori ladki chahiye,if they want to reject they say" Ladki ka khad aur rang kam hai,hamare bachhe ki height achi hai"(5'6").
They say "Ladke ku family visa bhi hai",even if he makes 3000 riyals and "Ladke ka kafeel bhaut acha hai,tanqaa badaataun bola shaadi ke baad"."Inter fail ladke ku bhi Graduate ladki honaa".

Finding a Match (Ladki waale):

Almost all ads say"Ladki soum aur salaah ki paaband hai" and "Shaadi mein jaldi hai, ladki ke bhai baaher se aaye hue hai".
Advertisements sometimes clearly mention"Ladke ku kaarobaar bhi lagaa ke denge" or "Azad visa bhi denge" or "Ladki ke naam pe jaaydaad hai" (500 gaz ka plot,makaan ya phir flat).
Hyderabadi parents only look for US/Canadian Immigrants or Gulf settled - Deen ki nisbat pe rishte karne waale aaj kal bahut kam honge.

Finally Shaadi ke Din....... 

If there is no dinner a lot of them are disappointed, they say "Kya jaate miya gaadi ka kiraya daal ke,kheench nai hai".

Many still take “Jode ki rakham" and if you ask Dulhe raja he will say "Mereku nai maloom,Ammi Abba baat karliye,main toh nakko bola sheikh".

These days nikaah takes place at masjid but the jahez(dowry) reaches grooms home late night when neighbors are in deep in sleep.

Invitations clearly mention that nikaah is at 7pm but Dulhe raja arrives at 8:30 pm,9 pm,9:30 pm and soon after nikaah people are desperately waiting for someone to announce "Aaiiye" (call for dinner).

They are crazy about chicken"Poori dish undal lete mauka mile to".

Pehle Haleem khaate fir chicken fir biryani fir chicken aur fir chicken fir qubani ka mittha fir kaddu ki kheer aur fir aakhri mein he puts some dahi ki chatni on his palm and starts licking it.

When he is done with food he needs a cigarette and then the discussion on the quality of food starts.

Hyderabadis in Gulf:

Ek doosre ki taang kheechte rehte wahan per.

Nayaa nayaa jo bhi aata usko bolte"Kaiku aaye miya,kya hai yaan pe,sab khatam hogaya,sirf khurchan baaqi hai (Lower level of cooked rice),

waipe kuch bhi kerlena tha".

PS: Mind you, I’m neither a critic nor trying to discriminate; I not only love Hyderabad but also the Hyderabadis.

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