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Friday

Blog is mightier than anything

Highlights:
Me:Characters exchange?
V:Sure? Phir se sochlo…
Me:Yeah baby! Muah… of course... Sure hone ki kya baat ha…
V:Arey waah …Yeh bhi tere blog ke liye?


Scene one:

Me: Acha jaanu … thu mere liye kuch bhi karega hai na…
How much u know me? U love na..?? (Gloomy face)
Aaj kal mein itna kuch karri huin ..thu kuch bhi nahi bolta…

My boyfriend (V): Of course I love you and see we are tying knot soon also …
Anything for u baby<3!

Me: Go home and text me …
Then will ask you :-|
Acha pehle ye bata.. why do u end a conversation only in one word or two? 
How do I look to you ?Devil?

(After our puppy love, we departed our ways in half an hour.
 There was a loud beep on my mobile)

(V):  Wazzup babe?
Me: Hey jaaanu ...<3<3<3!! Just waiting for your message..Itna dher kyu kar diya ?
Kisse baat karra tha?  Woo Sapna se?? Yeh Seema se??
(V): hehe .love u baby …
Acha bol kya puchna hain?
Me: U anyways don’t answer na..no point asking..:-( :-(:-(
(V): Baby .Pooch na… Characters exchange karna hain?
Me: Pakka?? Sochlo :P
(V): Jo aapki hukum…
Me: Ok ..now u as me and I as u …
So guess what I wanted to ask u …(over intelligent Smirk)
(V):Ok..being u is simple honey…here it goes as a sample.
Acha online aaja .. Can't type. 
Me: Nah.. I am cool here.. I have an Iphone.
(V):Write a snarky-free essay on two of the following (3000+ words):
My dad (your would-be father-in-law)
Your emotions right now
Describe the appearance of your ideal woman, starting with her shoes. Actually, just the shoes—the rest, U know.
Critique the outfits I wore on our last 7 dates (skip the 3rd and 5th most recent dates; add more detail about the 6th.)
List (all questions compulsory):
10 colors that are not in the rainbow, or in a box of crayons.
10 things you can do that my mom will find cute.
All our anniversaries and important days.
All festivals when you are not permitted to discuss religion, or give any variant of your “how 99% of the world’s religions are already extinct” speech.
10 friends—besides members of your “band”—that you think you will need to phase out of your life, once we’re married. (Do not include friends that have already been phased out.)
Write the last joke of mine you ever laughed your heart off.
Describe in brief all your ex-girlfriends. Attach their pictures. All the pictures. And gifts, etc. Basically everything that’s in “the box.” Just attach the whole box.
Under what circumstances are you permitted to lie to me?


(V): I INSIST YOU TO WRITE IT DOWN AND SEND IT ACROSS IN NEXT HALF AN HOUR. WARNA….
Me: Ok!
(V): No googling ah !
Your time starts now.. Am waiting ! Jya wait karwana mat baby <3! Muah !
Me:OK

Scene two:
ME typically living V’s character which means , just to stay silent and not showing up any emotions except say “Muah! “ “Love u jaanu “periodically. But my birth instinct never dies..After a long brain storm as how my life will turn with such a person, best thing I could come up with is to start a blog named , “mybfisnotme.blogspot.com” 

TITLE: NEVER MARRY A BLOGGER:

Here are the best reasons …

1. You’ll know she is pregnant through her blog.

2. Whether you fart, scratch, snore, or forget the anniversary, it is all up there.

3. Before you get to know, the whole world will get to know that she is having trouble with her mother in law.And also there would always be a weird comparison about her DADDY cool and you.

4. She will rant about how certain other blogs get more number of comments than she does though they write crap, and you are supposed to be sympathetic.

5. Should the template be Minima stretch or Minima lefty stretch? Template number 587 or 498? Tic Tac blue or stretch denim template? Certainly your decision making skills could be put to better use.

6. She claims that blogging is the only way of venting frustrations and letting out the steam whenever she is upset with someone. Including you.

7. You don’t want to live fearing the rest of your life that every morning you wake up, you’ll read a post starting “My husband is a…….”, with a hundred comments starting “Oh how could he?”, “He should…..” and “He should not……”.

8. You wake up from a nightmare that your wife has just made your darkest secret public, till you realize it wasn’t a nightmare. It was reality.

9. Every little nice thing you do for her will be up there on the blog. Every little mean thing you do to her will also be there up on her blog.


10. You are accountable for every female who comments on your blog, but you are not supposed to ask her about the males who leave comments on her blogs, because that makes you a suspicious, overtly jealous and possessive pig.

11. You are supposed to treat her out every time a blog of hers gets featured on DesiPundit or Blogbharti.

12. You are not supposed to take sides during heated blog discussions aka feline blog fights. You don’t have an opinion. You are her husband. You are to take her side. Always.

13. You would rather stay at home playing PSPs on the weekend than accompany her as the faithful puppy to be showed off at the local monthly blog meets.

14. Sometimes, the only way you can understand what’s up on her mind and why is she acting weird is by reading her blog. To discover that she was just having her periods.

15. Again and again, you will be given kasams to not read certain blog posts of hers. The whole world can know about it while it has to be a secret from you. And if you don’t, you are not giving her space or respecting her privacy.

16. You are in the middle of a Barcelona vs. Real Madrid game at your best buddy’s place when you get an SOS call from a common philanthropist friend- “Run home. You just forgot your wife’s birthday and it’s all over there on her blog”

17. You are not supposed to get jealous when you read about how she met her college crush and had coffee with him when you read it in her blog.

18. The world wasn’t supposed to know that you sleep in your superman underwear.


I was sweating all around in 16 degrees temperature too. Suddenly I wake up to realize
Silence not only kills but trills ….

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