Chaotic Silence

Lost in deep life in hurt of pain and sadness,
grudges and finally guilt
As every day I have played this game,
trying to act as if it doesn't hurt,
I sit there to realize where lies will, hope and forgiveness
that is surely bliss of love with truth of care

But for those things are now of hope alone
and no truth in them exists
for sorrow and sham
adorning that fate as the longing love

Then his wandering admiring eyes met mine
as though to touch and feel
the warmth that amiss
and the hurt that was now real
pledging agony shall not see,
that light in his eyes will last
for seemed destined that he want to be
a soul of the cast

That moment seemed to flow like a molten sapphire
and there’s deep blue silence,
It's only me, my breath and my heartbeat
It all made me believe in my existence
 but should I own the shun to retain me ?