2012 - Reviewed and Revisited

It’s been a long-drawn battle with time, and I finally won. A crappy year ends and a hopeful, new one begins. There were so many instances in 2012 when I thought that things couldn’t get worse, and each time I was proven wrong. I have laughed, cried, fought, been cheated, cheated myself, been lied to, lied myself and finally, searched for the eternal peace which has seemed just barely out of reach for so long. The past year has had occasions of absolute bliss and considerable misery for me, and I will very glad to end this year on a good note, with friends, lovely strangers and a lot of well-earned chocolates.

2012 began for me on a fairly good note, with a job offer at a promising firm. Just a couple of months down the line, I realized my mistake and it was too late to rectify it. The company turned out to be a nightmarish hell-hole managed by lesser mortals and run by an insect. After being sucked dry, my will to go forth and survive took over and I quit the garage. Things got really interesting after that, and I decided to go for my MBA in Germany.

On the personal front, things couldn’t get stranger than they did in 2011. I had a lot of illusions shattered this year when the man who claimed was in love with me turned out to be nothing more than that – an illusion. I made a few bad decisions. I realized that money plays a vital role in deciding how long you can love someone. So, on a fateful day this year, I lost someone very close to me and made me wonder if he ever was capable of loving someone.

Just when I thought I’d give up hope on 2012 being a good year, I rediscovered what it was to fall in love with someone totally unexpected. A fresh feeling of puppy love, evolving into lust and desire and at this point of time, to a steady state of mutual understanding, trust and faith, made me a believer again. Here’s a warm bear hug to the one I’m in love.

If I were to send one message to 2012 and all its incidents and people, all it’s merry and misery, it would be this: Good riddance to bad rubbish. I can’t wait to enter the New Year. I’m ever the optimist, cautiously pessimistic and according to my friends, annoyingly pragmatic.

I also had some social life which improvised the levels of insanity year by year in me. This time, those insane trends fuelled up my craziness.

 Excessive 9gagging: Over the past year, 9gag has become a trend statement of sorts with all kinds of memes being made popular by a very large percentage of the world’s population. Being a 9gagger has become a matter of pride for some and a matter of principle for others. Excessive 9gagging has shown to result in involuntary drooling, day dreaming during work.  I think Pinterest is also one of such kinds of different league.

Facebook Marriages: More and more people are getting ‘married’ on Facebook these days. In 2012, there were 119 recorded marriages on the social networking site in my list. If you like someone very much and want to get married to that person but can’t afford a wedding, then the trend smith recommends a Facebook marriage – change your relationship status to ‘Married’ and indicate the person you want to marry. Once that other person (hopefully your better half) has reciprocated this action, your statuses will be updated for the whole world to see. Am damn serious, this actually happened… well…honestly with me only.Now that it is a trend, hunt is easier on FB than on Matrimony sites.

The Flash Mob Phenomenon:The mob has many heads but no brains. Or so they say. The last four months of 2012 saw an exponential rise in the number of randomly arranged flash mobs in India, US, UK and Australia. Most of the flash mobs were centred on people dancing to or singing a popular trending song. There are all the indicators that the Flash Mob culture will rise strongly and will involve people from all walks of life to behave like idiots for a few minutes.

Status Messages: There was an astronomical increase in the number of people searching for the phrase ‘best status messages’ on Google. It’s probably the influx of innumerable brain alternatives that people these days are not able to think smartly for themselves. Sadly, some of the best status messages on IMs and social networking sites are re-hashed nonsense.

Well time to get something original and something new .

Till the writing stops, or refreshes a new, till thoughts are written forever and some are followed through. Till the very end is unending it will always be yours to keep, like the things that vanish somehow and yet a footprint they leave. Anyways wish you all a very happy new year . Rock it J

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
Eleanor Roosevelt.

Moods

Slipping the bonds of earth

I dance in joy with the silvered wings

To do a thousand things;

No matter the shinning sun joined the tumbling mirth

But it is the story of every birth.

It is a story of a lady wing

Wheeling in the swing

Chasing the wind with the sling

 But it flew away in a ding.

Suddenly, windswept heights with easy grace

With a high encroached sanctity of space

Brings a smile on my face

Then comes a face stare at me in maze

I care not and walk my phase.

Then comes the sculpture of love sow

Of which even the eagle wants to wow.

Even it’s gone with the fading joy

Then the moment seems to be a defence

And there’s deep blue silence,

Neither there is earth below, nor sky above,

Only me, my breath and my heartbeat.

 While with silent, lifting mind I’ve trod

Some sadness is part of everyone’s story,

Some sunshine is a part of everyone’s life

Eyes are damp for no reason

as every second is a new season

How to piss people off?

 Of course! It’s an art to do on daily basis. As I have already told you that it needs effort to be stupid than not being it. And the best part is stupidity +Ego= Heights. I really want to tell you about a person who have been living with a motto of pissing people off all the time! It’s much like the song ‘Iris’ by Goo Goo Dolls, where he croons, “…yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive!” And his golden words are- “we need to irritate people around us all the time to feel alive. What’s the point of living if you don’t piss someone off? Huh? Tell me”!

Pissing people off – the heart and soul of his existence. So here I present tips learnt from this great soul would have mastered the art.

 We wouldn’t be here doing what we are doing if someone a hundred thousand years ago hadn’t pissed someone off and started a war. We wouldn’t be here if someone hadn’t pissed on someone else’s joy! You wouldn’t be reading this if someone hadn’t pissed me off and made me write this. So, you have to agree with me that it’s quite important to piss people off all the time. (I see...)So, how do we do it? How do we achieve the perfect balance between pissing someone off and not getting slapped, shot, kicked, stabbed in the back, kicked, slapped, slapped, punched in the face, kicked in the nuts again or pushed off a cliff? It takes great care and patience to achieve this feat, and it’s not easy. You need to pay attention. For gals, you need no effort, just go and talk your heart out during your period cycle. That serves all the purpose!

Pissing Men Off

Quite Easy- take a dig at their manhood. Tell them their girlfriends are awesome and hot. Take the liberty in explicitly describing her. Watching their face go from a normal beige to various shades of red, blue and orange is quite fun. Men are strange in this issue – I don’t know why but they always overplay their sexual exploits and this is the best way to piss a man off.

Talk about their EX girlfriends and their extemporary desires for every damn silly gal. At that time you correct them on what they are doing, I am sure they will get defensive and fart out their ego. Of course, what else they can do.  Point out every mistake of theirs, then your mission is accomplished.

Of course, the only two other things that matter to a guy is either beer or sports. Ridicule his favourite beer and you might end up on the wrong end of a well-placed kick. Ridicule the guy and call him a sissy for watching cricket or golf, and he’ll go stark raving mad.

I’ll let you in on a secret. If you know a guy who is straight and want to piss him off, accuse him of being gay. Oh, he’ll hate you for the rest of his life, and he’ll stay away from cosmetics and watch each of his words carefully whenever you’re around!

Pissing Women Off

Specially, you should know how to piss off a gal from the guy who did it!

Given that sex, booze and sports are the only three things that can effectively piss a man off, you’ll find it hard to piss a woman off with these three topics. Women are usually very secure about their sexuality/sex lives and taking a dig at their alcoholic tastes will be like throwing grains of sand at a hurtling train hoping to derail it. And women and sports, well, let me not be a spoilsport, but you know how it goes. Till I was 18, I thought F1 cars were battery controlled toys and unmanned!

So, how do we piss women off? Easy – take a dig at her age. It always works no exceptions. Tell her, “Oh, you look so much younger in your photographs!” and she’ll hate you with a vehemence second only to a supernova.

Horizontal attacks are also effective. “You seem to have gained some weight,” “Is that an extra-large top?” and “How many months due are you?” are the three most effective way to piss a woman off about her weight. Never fails.

These are way too trivial. You should try something like this guy did. Be a guy with half knowledge, wavering mind and untidily maintained and flaunt off saying it’s a geek style.

Secondly, talk utter nonsense and claim you are next to Einstein the world, no perhaps the GOD. Adding to it, go challenge her skills where she was awarded the prime laurels. Be on the other side of the world burning with jealousy. Finally, say you are the ego killer. LOL! She would definitely kick in your nuts but if she is sensible enough, she would just laugh at u and show your level.

But I am duty bound to warn you – Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Be careful.

Psychology says women are way too matured, organised and talented than other men of their age. So panga with gals might cost a huge loss for you, honey! You still wanna do, go ahead! Piss someone off today! Live a little!

Attitude you receive from a person is how you treat them!

Another song , from Germany

If you don't speak your thoughts, they can't be turned around.

This is a small dedication to someone special who is so close yet so far!

I don't know what that means, but I know that I mean it :-)

https://soundcloud.com/sandhya-datta/raabta-raabta?utm_source=soundcloud&utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=facebook&utm_content=https%3A%2F%2Fsoundcloud.com%2Fsandhya-datta%2Fraabta-raabta&code=AQBKlYbZ3OtcYgruqokkP1NyJbPTtGVugTonjq_p4_aAOaoPeJ9UJ5ltrQYywflFVLREpHuYBpYCYnG4Uflzu5riZL9k_8ERMLGcD4p4XLbq7uoSsVg3Fg3L16K71wFTBH8VLWmXzMZHSfO_H7RYxiRPjWg60daqJO2Wt_mKqoN1i3wehBAek4ueLnE6PY1Vn7L0T7fg5pYqBGNkHuxE6Cgu#_=_

Best ...may be it is called Love...

 Your parents are really nice yaa

“Well what did you expect?” he asked.

I just thought they would be grown up versions of you.

Like the others, this one also went for a toss, Rejection no# 39

I may sound snobby, arrogant and egoistic but what you see is not always true.

There is this series of things that is happening in my life since a year.

I don’t know peer pressure or probably it was too hard to handle my hotness, my family and extended family started groom hunt for me.Well, I met over dozen of people so far and every time I meet someone, they ask me to be judgemental and I can’t stop using the stupidity index (For more info refer previous post). Finally I gave up the idea of meeting random stupids when I had a lot waiting in my inbox every morning. After a thorough investigation and scrutiny, Sandiee’s angels and Demons fight club has shortlisted top three stupids. Here I present my sample mails. 

Short-listed -1:

You are my TVS SCOOTY and also my AIWA. I am BPL and you are SANSUI. You are Mc DOWLE'S love.   I believe in FRESHIA and you are one of the most beautiful girls in this world. I think of you day and night. When you give me your only one smile, you are DOMINO'S PIZZA for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL feeling for me.

   I would like you to be my life partner. I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER and you think of my father who is CEAT, but don't worry. I am also FORD IKON and rest of your family members are KELVINATOR. If they will say no, we will run away, marry and try to do PHILIPS .They will get MIRINDA and we will have COCA COLA.

   Trust in God who is NOKIA for those who love each other. And believe me, we are WILLS. We might have to BOLERO. However after some time, our love will be SAMSUNG DIGITAL. We are HERO HONDA of our love life.

 Now HUNDAI is the song of love. You must know that love is DIARY MILK, SATYAM ONLINE , PARX and also AMUL. For me life is HOME TRADE. So never forget me. Ok bye! I wrote little but PEPSI.

From Your Dearest,

LG

I sincerely appreciate your mock test paper for my marketing exam. Yeppie ! It worked.

Shortlisted -2 :

Aap hua ..mera 

Dream wala girl

Is liye aap ke liye likha meine

Gana wala song

Dream wala duet

Sharukh wala, foreign wala , budget wala song

poolon se bhi halka sa

lyrics wala song

Gane wala love

Dream sequence ke bahane, tumko Switzerland dikhaunga

Barf wala snow

Paise wala rich

Chupke se public place pe, dhoka deke chance marne

Despo wala chap

Maine naav bharke phool, barf pe rakhe hain

Mere peeche pink ped laga hai laga

Low angle shot se haat hua bada aur  ..main lambaaa

Naav wala boat

Phhol wala pyaar

Mere baalon mein itne saare jooen hein, katte rahte mujhjo din raat

DUkh wala sad

Ye chap tere peeche phir bhaagta,  hai bachatha …MANISH CHANCHAD!

Pyaar wala romance

Gana wala song

Ishq wala love.

Yaar… pakao wala peeling

Ishq wala Torture

Shortlisted -3 :

Dear Sandiee,

I have some questions to be clarified before that what is your full name ?

1.       Would it be too early to hold hands?

2.       Am I at the “honey point” yet?

3.       Let me know if I am rushing you, ok? *

Thank you for saying yes. The usual answers I get is no ways, are you stupid ?; No I already have a boyfriend or sometimes am I too shy to ask a girl out.

*I haven’t had a lot of girlfriends yet but teach me how to do , what to do and what not to do ! please!

 Seriously ??? * face-palm*

Yeah right! Exactly …you all are awesome guessers … I have blocked my calendar to meet these awesome guys!  Take liberty to subscribe to the forthcoming posts on my experiences J

Sometimes this is the way of life.

It just stuck my mind amongst all these exams, sleepless nights, those language communications; I completed my 3 months of adventurous stay in this foreign land.

Did not know how time flew, 

yesterday was the only time of life that I knew.

Today felt like a kite flying with no worries,

 touching several clusters of my dreams

along the shades of sun in so different means.

Although, bounded by the surprise of the days,

like the freedom of the haze in maze,

 it is an innocent story 

of this dreamland glory 

to live life so flowery, 

which is blown in a flurry.

Touching every emotion

coupled with caution

Loneliness is what I feel

In this drought heal

Nobody knows am I moving closer or apart?

But the remoteness remained

Like the distance between our eyes

Yet the wishes had never gained

that hotness of the dice.