A day without dealing with stupid people is like...never mind it can never happen !

This incident happened sometime last year, and I still remember it vividly. Stupids are so hard to forget. It was supposed to be a surprise. Or a suspense. Whichever one wasn’t creepy.. I was supposed to present myself at the remote location in one hour in Bangalore. Yeah, right, I thought. With this traffic, I can make it just in time for a perfect sunset. Three in the afternoon on the roads of Bangalore is like being killed and transported to Hell and made to push a huge, heavy wheel for no apparent reason, with a red, pointy-tailed, French-bearded individual who laughed demonically for no reason and lashed you with a whip every now and then, with your sweat dripping off your face and crusts of dirt and tar sticking to every part of your face. Well, almost.

I thought I can still make it with an unwanted sarcasm-kicked philosopher who was supposedly my colleague. But when two NORMAL people meet, we almost have a research guide to be administrated about people and their stupidity. Although I was quite disinterested at that point of time, but when it is about stupid I can’t deny my participation. U see, it’s easy to be dumb but not stupid! They amuse me!

K to me: “Do you know we have evolved into something resembling a cross between an upright chimp and a hairy stink ball? I’m not kidding.”

Me: Really ? hehe..

K: In fact I think everyone is. Have you counted the number of hairs on your body lately? You’ll be astonished. Well... it is different for gals. That’s why my thorough and fair research is mostly on men.

Anyway, when Charles Darwin wrote the ‘Origin Of species,’ he overlooked one major fact – The Stupidity Index. ‘The Stupidity Index,’ which explained why every single human being alive today is as stupid as a doorknob (in other words Dakkan). People who don’t agree to this fact are living in denial.

The scale is from 0 to 5, where 0 is the least stupid and 5 is the most stupid.

Then he takes out his neat clear paper from the file and tables it down with his explanations.

Although I am sure about the parameters he is considering but my gut feeling is this guy is no less to A and apparently …it is so much of astonishment to be with people of same league.

The scale is explained thus:






Me: ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING. Lets try it on na ! How it works ...


While we waited for more than ten minutes at a junction where a truck was stranded in the middle of the road with two-wheelers peppered around it like seasoning on a horrendous Christmas dish.

Before we could assess their stupidity rate,“Hey Sandiee,” said the idiot over the phone.

“Hey dude,” I replied, silently wishing he’d never called. I hated this guy, and had tried to distance myself as much as possible from him. But, as you probably know, some people just don’t get it.

“Listen, this is important,” said the Stupid. “You need to be here! It’s urgent”

“Whoa!” I said. “If you remember we are in Bangalore? I’m not trying to relax at home but in my rickety car at a junction since an hour ”

No matter what I tried, he wouldn’t give in. I finally agreed to meet him.

It’s not that I’m an anti-social animal, I just hate this guy.

I called up the fellow and told him that I’d reached. It was two minutes to three. He came there two minutes later, running, and hot in the face. He’s a weird looking guy – tall, balding and a thin hairline mustache. And his eyes were a constant reminder of his inborn idiocy. He was always an idiot – slow to grasp things and concepts and slower to understand them. Now, he was working for a software company. God save software!

“Thanks for coming, gal!” he said.

“No problem,” I said. “Ok, what’s this all about?”

“Listen, I’m into a scheme where you can make lots of money in a week. Up to twenty thousand in a week! Are you interested?”

You can imagine what went through my brain. I looked around for a sizable stone to bash his head in, but refrained myself. Too many witnesses around. I could never make it look like a suicide.

“What?” I asked, incredulously.

“Yeah! This new company is giving away money, dude. I asked you to come here because I want you to attend a presentation, which the company is giving. They’ll explain exactly how you can make the money. It’s quite simple, dude. And I get a referral fee is you sign up.”

“What?” I asked again. I was beginning to eye some really nice stones.

“Yes,” he said. “Follow me.”

He led us to a hotel which was behind the Shopper’s Stop mall. Lots of people were hanging around the entrance. “These are all my colleagues,” he said.

“Ok,” I said. I was really annoyed now, as most of the people there had the same stupid look in their eyes. I wanted to run away from there as fast as I could. He led us into the hotel and into an air-conditioned conference room, where there was a long table, made of cheap woodwork to match with the cheapness of the wood-paneled walls. Lots of people were sitting around it and there was a white board on the far wall, with a guy standing in front of it.

I felt like the newest inductee into the Stupidity Club where their index of stupidity is still undefined.

Cupid 's guide for Dummies

Single people are single for a reason. They are hideously ugly, dangerously misinformed about human anatomy or just plain unlucky, among other weirder reasons. For people who’re currently single, which includes me, ironically, I’ve decided to roll out a brand new strategy for attracting members of the opposite sex.

But I prefer to favour men this time with the tips so that next time someone who approaches me for a date will at least know what a women wants. 

Men, who would want to try out their luck in wooing a woman and want some inside information on how to go about doing this without being slapped in public, can read this with the assurance that you won’t be disappointed. If women want to read this, please do, it’s probably going to make you smile at how little men know about women.

Tips to Men:

Ok, first things first, my fellow readers – ask yourself the following three questions and if and only if the answer to all three is “Yes” then continue. Otherwise, this post is not for you. Women, ignore the previous two sentences.

1. Are you a man?

2. Have you ever had a crush before?

3. Was your crush a woman?

Ok, now that we’ve eliminated the kids and the fairies, let’s get down to some serious information distribution session!

Women hate nerds! Don’t show off your intelligence to women! Act dumb! Not too dumb, because that could be a huge turn-off! And for heaven sake, do not argue even you have a logic. Show them that you’re a perfectly normal, average guy, who flunks a couple of exams and yet manages to get placed in a pretty nice company. And I don’t mean a call-center! Call center guys are NOT the ‘hot trend’ nowadays!

Let’s take a hypothetical example, you’ll understand better. Suppose there is this really really hot chick whom you want to ask for a dinner. First thing you should do is to drop the idea! She’s not in your league and all the hot chicks are already taken. So, look elsewhere.

Suppose there is a fairly hot and very cute girl, who’s single and whom you’re interested in. Now, we’re talking! You have a chance to score a romantic dinner here! The formula is very simple – wear a black leather jacket over a very white round-neck T-shirt and wear blue jeans and brown hiking boots. Don’t overdo the bling factor because you’ll look gay. No earrings, no rings on your fingers and most of all, no silver/gold watches that dangle!

Secondly, remember to compliment her every time you find something attractive.Be gentle and be nice .

Bus, train and chokri are precious! Respect them as your time factor. 

Walk real slow when you’re in their company and give them ample time to look at you and make their opinion. Even if you’re in a hurry, whenever you pass her seat, slow down and walk in real slow-motion. It helps. Do not bank on finding women in your new school or college or your new workplace. Go and hunt them out in all the places you never usually visit. The fact that you don’t visit these places and the fact that you’re single might give you a clue.

Bald men are considered hot by some women, so before you go shaving off your precious hair, try to get the girl to tell you if she likes bald men. Not all men look good without hair. Some men have an unnatural bulge in their faces, and if you remove your hair, you look like something the cat dragged in. Big turn-off, don’t do it!

The type of watch you wear plays a huge role in whether the girl accepts your offer of dinner. I suggest something black, not too flashy and something that doesn’t have hearts or bubbles on their faces. The hands of the watch must NOT by Mickey Mouse’s gloved hands!

Women like music, as a rule. Some like house/trace music and some of them prefer soft rock. Other freaky women prefer really really heavy/death metal music, and a few of these strange women will probably turn you into a druggie of you get too close. So, be careful and don’t get into any more trouble than you already are.

Asking a woman out on a date is quite a tricky situation and can lead to disastrous effects. From a simple “No” to spending a night in the city jail, anything could happen depending on how you ask them out. Some despo-self-help books will tell you that the direct approach is the best way, but take my word for it, it’s not! Asking her out has to be a long-drawn arduous process in which, her tastes and dislikes has to properly researched. Since this depends on individual women, I won’t say much on this, except that you should not go up to the girl and say, “Hi, Wanna eat?”

The choice of restaurant is also vital in building a fruitful relationship with the girl. Don’t take vegetarian girls to Barbeque Nation or KFC!!

Being funny is absolutely vital, but make sure people are laughing at your jokes and not at you. It’s easy to get confused. And if they’re laughing at you, then laugh with them and call yourself a moron, because some girls like that!

Be charming, be witty and be dumb. I know you’re probably very confused by now, but I can tell you that once you read this post again, you’ll feel really confident on approaching that girl of your dreams. Just don’t make it a nightmare.

Hope the force is with you ! May you be a martian guy and win a Venutian women:-)

THE NRIs .....

After travelling to most of the hot hubs for opportunity ..this is something I observed out of my sheer curiosity about Indians in foreign land.

Most of us including me ofcourse, NRIs, strive to blend in into their foreign society. It’s amusing to observe some of the measures we undertake:

We start rolling our “r”s. unfortunately we can never pronounce Rs like the natives do. So we end up sounding as if we had some vocal cord deformity.

Most us who never wore shorts in life start wearing shorts as soon as we enter the foreign land, choosing completely to ignore the visual abomination we perpetrate. Indians who venture into wearing shorts should take a look at themselves in the mirror. If ones legs look like bamboos with hair on them, one must avoid shorts at all costs.

Start following local sports such as football. Then we discuss these sports loudly with the localities at the water-cooler as if we have been watching these sports all our life

Try our hand at wit and make jokes when in a group. Humour is a very cultural thing. Unless practised with caution, it often ends up with a bunch of blank stares in one’s direction.

Start using profanity. We used to say “What the hell, yaar!” Now we say “What the fuck”. We think using the language employed by plumbers and construction workers takes us one step closer to being native!

Start drinking beer. Half my friends who drink beer never drank alcohol before. Now they drink beer to look cool at a party.

When a new comer to Germany says “First floor” to refer to second floor, that is, the one floor above ground floor, we act all confused and lost.

When at meetings, we put our feet up on the table/chair and we keep them there no matter who else in the cube/meeting room, just to prove to ourselves that we are cool.

Start pronouncing my name as Sand-iya.. rather Sandhya... or short it down to Sandieeee...!

“Most of us” does not mean “all of us.” Not all NRIs exhibit aforementioned symptoms and not all of them exhibit all the symptoms.

100th post :-) Thanking Ceremony

In all my 8 years of writing, never have I been so excited to celebrate a one-hundredth post of my blog. But Blogger’s Choice has become more than just a blog – it’s become a way of life. I hope I’ve upheld the quality of writing all through these months. There are a lot of people who are responsible for making this journey so overwhelmingly memorable. It started off as an experiment in open, creative writing, and soon became quite well-read.

I thank each and every one who indirectly has contributed to my blog.Of course my parents, sister, friends and crazy dreams.Above all, I really wanna thank those anonymous for your absolute support and mails.Sorry about not moderating few comments. Next time , try uncovering your identity. Cannot take the suspense anymore!

I’ve met some fascinating people through this space. Everyone who knows me personally, professionally and online, knows me a little better because of Blogger’s Choice. May be the sensitive part or the insane part.

Again, I declare that most of the characters in my blog are fictitious and written to expose the emotions. Not meant to hurt anyone personally. If it happened… Maaf kardo yaar!

Thanking all the initial readers of Blogger’s Choice, without whom, it wouldn’t have been possible to come this far.

Acknowledged all the major critics I’ve had on Blogger’s Choice and promise to keep the writing flowing eulogies to all you beautiful people on my blog roll.

It’s quite a nostalgic week ahead. I’m humbled. I guess I don’t really have many words to describe it

Now Blogger’s Choice is renamed as ENDLESS THOUGHTS.

Let me know if you want me to write something specific also .Sometimes emotions fall short to describe the beauty of the life.

Never thought I’d last this long!

Stats are also amazing …8K is not a bad score!

Special thanks to Vicky, Kumar, Kashyap, Raghav, Rahul, Siva, bojo and all the others who follow my blog regularly J

Another year will be over, another year will come. I hope and pray that the lights of Diwali illuminate the new chapter of our lives.

Happy Diwali!

Just for you !

You came into my life unexpectedly, like a firefly that suddenly flits into the darkness of the night and brightens it up.
And somewhere along the line, somewhere among the walks and the drives, the talks and the texts - you have become a part of me.

Then you walked away without a reason, miles apart and silence around with a piece of me !

strolling down the memory lane, I find myself all alone writhin in the excruciating pain
Probably I long for your presence again!!

PS: If that little bit of me is in you, do something to surprise me !

To the guy of my dreams .. still hesistating to come in front of me!

Words on a thread !

Just trying to make sense of this petty madness tied together with the flagrant hope of bringing out some amount of cohesion and comprehension; probably we all call it life. Funky shite, I tell you...

Major achievement, if you ask me... And this one's all about why I love living through this madness. Why I love trying to make sense and failing time and again and yet hopefully going for another try.

I love life because it’s beautiful. It’s got that poignant beauty of thinks that won’t last for long, like snowflakes and mayflies... Things that melt away or disappear, like a whiff of fancy!

 I love life because we alone can live ours. How much ever people try to take it away from us, we can still hold it within our little hands and hold it out to the sun. Warm it up a bit. Or hide it in our mitts when it gets cold and wintry.

I love life, most of all, because every moment in it is unique. Every moment you live belong to yourself 'cause you gave birth to it. And it would certainly not have existed without you, or outside of you. Life and all its moments stay with you and within you. Probably it’s the only thing that very truly belongs to you.

I love life because I can still feel, touch, hear, taste, see and live all that is around me.

I love life because I can smile, laugh, cry, hide my tears, and whisper my fears. Best part is I am never tired of it.

I love life because it holds a promise. A promise you can work out by yourself. A promise for the things around you!

I love life 'cause it has a past, a present and a future.

I love life because I try time and again to make sense outta it and never succeed.

So every once in a while, lean back. Take in a breath of air. Breathe in... Breathe out... Lick your lips and taste the air... It’s a beautiful world, and every inch and every moment of it belongs to you...

The Semi-Charmed kind of Life we lead... It’s funny... It’s sad... It’s happy... It’s mad... and above all its always worth living and loving...For all who made it this way, I enjoy it and appreciate it!

Nothing is worth losing, it is the art of living with fine mingling of holding on and letting go!

That's me :-)

Well … Someone asked me how I deal with people. I may not be perfect but I have a way in staying happy. I totally get the emotional outburst but the way you compose is the way you would want to live your life J

Stoicism is bliss when in yourself but unnervingly disconcerting when in others. It’s like speaking to a stone that points you reach when there is no way forward...no adjustment... you know just the right solution...but also the pointlessness in suggesting it!! Those are times when the opacity of the human soul makes you wonder...a fellow being...and yet so unlike...so indiscernible!!! So unobliging!! Unfeeling!

 You are at your wits end. The tremendousness is like a calamity and that conflicting indifference, the frustration and the inability to vent it out and of course, the consequentialness of your agony.Just the utter helplessness.

But I say -If only you could see the other side of the deal

If only you knew the joy therein!

The joy in not knowing...

Not understanding...

And not even bothering!

Or in forgetting for going

Even if not forgiving...

The convenience of it all

The wisdom it entails

The immense cocoon

The world is all blossoms!!

Life is good ! Make sure to enjoy it !

A Bit of Patriotism

People around me think Indians are either poor and complicated or dumb and weird.
Whatever we Indians are we are the best .
Poor ..hehahha.. Come, see our weddings !
Complicated.. Yes ! You need brains to understand us and our diversity :-)
Weird -Haan bhai ! Hum ko family matlab everyone we have known or acquainted with ...
We speak English in 28 ways !
We are best in Business, finance, Maths, philosophy ,medicine and of course corruption too.No country is blessed to have congress corruption roots strong !
Well In business , Bargaining power and ability is the highest with us .In fact it is in our blood.
Finance - Chindigiri karna koyi hum se seeke-Courtesy Marwadis, Gujjus and Tams.
Maths : Even rikshawala to PM of the country can do it for free! free! free!
Medicine : Come to Charminar ... Medicine is given for EVERYTHING

Over all ... This video below reminded me of INDIA , friends , education , culture and everything !
Have a look and feel proud to be an Indian :-)

A lot can happen over a coffee:P

Well….This is what we B School fresh-faces do in break. Either bird –watching or chic watching and then curse for being single. Being in a group of 14 boys, A and I never got a chance to feel that we are girls. Minimum we have 4-5 guys are around us at any given point of time (Exceptions are also there). Typically like the late 90’s Bollywood movies with college backdrop where hero with his 4-5 followers. As A is always travelling, probably it is only ME whom is mostly seen in the university.

Being with all this smart asses, I too picked up the guys’ lingo for gals.

Asset – A hot chic

Liability – Unwanted nerd in the group study

Insurer- Hooker

Customer engagement management- A pimp

Customer satisfaction – gal showing off skin

Price Management – A date within the budget and many more.

One day, probably my dress or the divine realisation within them made them think I am girl and needs attention too. As usual we found our way to fire place and started our usual talk. For the first time, a firang (Foreigner) entered our league. Guess y? Not for group study or assignment or anything related to acads.

This guy E walks up and calls me out to a side and asks me for a cup of coffee lake side.Before my green turned friends could say something , even I thought I need a break for these desi sophisticated chichoras.

Then E and I settled down on the bank of Rhien River and started talking about the last class we attended together. This Italian looked awesome. For the first time I noticed a guy in my class after 2 months of stay. I think Italians are quite explicit in expressing their feelings romantically about beauty and nature.

After a long poetic conversation, he finally asks me about myself. My likes and what as a friend I would share.

Finally feeling like a gal, I just started off on a very high note.

You see I am turning old

My memories are fading.

My hair is falling.

I worry about the size of my ass-its increasing with my age.

(He kept his decency in checking it out)

I talk too much.

I think too much.

I'm way too good for anyone else.

I put alarms to wake up at 3 am to listen to music when everything else is quiet.

Everything about 3 am is awesomely beautifully depressing.

I want my voice range to be 4 octaves. Sigh!

(I expected him to understand that I sing and ask me to sing for him)

I'm not fat-I'm just bombacious-vivacious-curvacious-ohmygodaciously generously layered with extra tissue.

So I have an ego problem.

Most guy friends I have fallen for me sometime or the other-I'm not sure if that’s good or bad.

I'm sick of being called cute. Where is that smart outgoing sexy image?

I like earthy people.

 I wanna sing great gig in the sky with a big bunch of friends in the dead of night on top of a hill,with a bonfire burning and screams and laughter echoing.

Detachment is my strength and my weakness.

I never get bored of myself.

I love planning surprises and making stuff for people.

I'm not a movie person. I haven’t seen tons of good movies. I’m too restless to sit thru a movie.

I don’t watch many sitcoms like most people like.

No, I am NOT a boring person!

I think I’m morphing into a guy. Thanks to that bunch of friends I have around.

I can’t live abroad without Indian food 

I hate tall buildings.

Neutral colours of things abroad put me off. Everything there is either grey black white or blue. Or grey again.

I'm either singing or extremely quiet when high.

I smell pages of books.

I can’t see myself 20 years from now Or even 10.

Or even 1 and half years from now.

(Thats cuz i dont have a time machine......)

I make really bad jokes sometimes.

Other times I’m just awesomely witty.

I've done the craziest things ever in the past 2 months.

Most of the mistakes I've made were worth making.

I've invented words and snigs -My best was this word "flouge" rhyming with rouge...which means Trouble.

I love my friends...each n every one of them. So much...

I laugh a lot.

I like bright things.

I rarely regret things even if I do something wrong on an impulse.

I regret breaking someone's heart.

I contradict myself.

I have a very very very bad temper which I struggle to keep under control.

I suffer from foot in mouth syndrome.

I used to go the library 3rd floor just to watch the trains pass by. Also used to count how many boogies goods trains have.

I listen to JLo and the Pussycat Dolls sometimes.

There's nothing like walking on the bunds thru paddy fields.

There's nothing like a rooftop parrdyyy with gooood moosik.

I try to be as non-judgemental as possible.

I drool if I sleep flat.

I'm generally stable n steady.

I'm gonna experience everything in life.

I'm crazy about philosophy.

I hate preachy books.

I have loose hinges-I move my hands n head a lot while speaking.

I discover new awesomeness about myself every day.

Smoke rings fascinate me but I hate smokers

I judge how fat I am by examining how many veins show at the back of my hand.

I have to ride a water bike, water ski and see Mt. Everest before I die.

I sometimes long for shoes with lights.

I'm known for being clumsy and hurting myself every time.

I can’t lead a slow life-I need to be busy, I need a dynamic fast paced life.

I can’t follow a routine- I get bored of things easily.

I'm good with people.

I'm crazy about business.

I need to figure out how to get rich soon.

I'm getting nowhere.

I'm quite satisfied with my 23 years of life. Phew!

Can you imagine I just spoke this out in one go?

Poor guy was dumb stuck and took 5 minutes to regain himself.

Then we walked back to the place where my friends were waiting.

My friends pounced upon me for details. Worth a karva chaut or not !

After that day, E just smiles at me and drops me an email but never dared to talk to me again except hi! This is what happened with couple of other boys after E:-P

The Fickle world !

He came from nowhere and didn’t know where he was heading. He seemed lost, confused, like a paper boat caught in a hurricane, with turmoil eroding the last traces of sanity. He was escaping, hoping for a better tomorrow, but he didn’t know for sure. Unsure is sure quality of his insanity. He wanted a fresh start, desperately. He didn’t know how he was going to achieve it. He caught himself searching for something that needs acceptance than arrogance.

He vowed to find a muse, an inspiration, a candle in the whirlwind of his bad luck. He wanted to find the elusive abundance of good luck that had deserted him for so long. He yearned for the peace and tranquillity that had been hiding from him. It was not a search in vain; a search of a fairy.

Then he met her and they regarded each other cautiously, unsure of just how much attention the other person warranted. She seemed harmless enough, but he was expecting his seemingly unlimited quota of bad luck to step in again.

They went on to talk about other things mundane. Time flew by and a pact was etched in stone between them, unwritten yet indelible. It took time, obviously. It did not happen overnight. He began to experience her presence more and more in his life until it almost became an addiction. Over time, he started craving for her company. She became the beacon of light in the darkness that had clouded him. She forced him to embrace good luck again, though he never knew how she managed to do that.

He still had no destination in mind, but he knew that his journey wouldn’t be lonely any more; the journey that he had started from nowhere and had seemed to head nowhere yet she  made it more bearable. He had a lot of things to be thankful for. And for a million things more.

He had found his muse. He had found his share of good fortune but never accepted it. Again, he pondered on his destination. He got back to nowhere. Was it hard to use the beacon light for him?  He lost the fairy and the good fortune and certainly enough that he would not know what he lost also. His bad influence and his confusion could not realise the fairy is for his rescue.

Probably it is the pun of the mind that it can be a servant of false illusions but not the master of tough reality. Hence, the present of life is lost , so is the purpose of living ! 

Once you accept your limits, then you go ahead ~ Albert Einstein 

Dedicated to all the fools who feel women are the disturbing elements of life!