"Sick-Fun"

Spring is in the air!  It is time for nasty allergies and unpleasant flu.  You may probably call in sick one time or the other.  But did you and your boyfriend both fall sick and took the day off at the same time?  If you didn’t, let me tell ya, this situation provides numerous unexplored romantic opportunities.  Just because you both are sick like dogs, clinging to bed with aching body, bouts of cough, pounding headache and high fever, it doesn’t mean you can’t make it romantic and fun.

Here are the top ten things to do to spice up your sick day when you and your spouse both are home sick:

10. Impersonate movie actors in your soar-throat aided husky voice

9. Play thermometer race.  Stick digital thermometers in your mouths and see whose beeps first

8. Just in case there is ever such event, practice for Olympic Synchronized Coughing

7. Sit out in the backyard and chat over a hot cup of Theraflu

6. Forget staring contest.  Try “who can go longest without wiping nose” contest

5. You played drinking games, didn’t you?  Try this: watch daytime tabloid talk shows and take a cough syrup shot every time a word is bleeped out

4. If your noses are completely blocked, see how long you can kiss before you gasp for air.  Can you hit the magic 1 minute mark?

3. Hide a Tylenol capsule in your layers of clothing and let him/her search for it

2. One word.  69!  Give each other foot-massages

1. To declare your undying love for each other, exchange your nasal sprays

Okie …Well this is what I get to see all day by my roomies and I sit there like a frozen Eskimo!

sources: Twisted DNA

Fraaandship &&^*(*?

I'm sure most of you have had this experience before. There’s this freaky gal whom I have had the misfortune of having a friendship with. According to her, we’re the “best-est of friends” and according to me, she’s an unwanted piece of garbage who just doesn't know when she’s not needed and just doesn't understand the fact that she’s a burden on this earth! I pity her. If you look at her face, the word “dumb” pops in your mind. Her body fat is unevenly distributed, her eyes are lop-sided, her brain is in the wrong place, and she would be automatically entered into the mentally-challenged Olympics if she went anywhere near the venue! If she wasn't dropped on her head as a child, I seriously wonder what sort of parenting she had to go through to turn out as she has.

I may be a bit too harsh on her, but that’s the way she is. I can’t help it. She can do anything to be in someone’s good books but unfortunately she doesn’t know that it purely reflects her dumbness. Would you believe that I’m actually down-playing this mentally-challenged embarrassment to nature who thinks I am her friend?

Anyway, I had lent this gal 8 euros, a small amount considering the amount of money I get. This was over a month ago. She promptly forgot about it until I gently reminded her that she owes me. She immediately made out a promise note for 8 bucks and gave it to me. Now, this was the first time I was handling a promise note and I was like, “Baby, it’s ok! You can give me the cash when you have it. No hurry!”

So, she said, “No honey, take it. I don’t want to keep you waiting!” I was surprised but hey, money’s money. So, I took it and waited for a week.Oh wait , please do not confuse with the original promise note. 

Her promise note was like this :

" Hey Buddy,

Despite your money constraint you lent me money for filling my stomach with a meal. I am grateful. It's time to give it back but unfortunately my card pin is missing and would get one tomorrow. I will draw and give it to you. Till then keep my 500 rupees note with you . Kill me if I am not giving you .

Love you !

XXXXX"

Finally, she told me to come near some godforsaken building on some highway to collect the money.  I was a bit scared and was wondering if she was going to kill me in that secluded place and make it look like an accident or something. I had no idea how her under-developed mind worked. Her single knock can make me handicapped for life time. She finally showed up after making me wait an hour and handed the money over to me. I asked her why she called me so far away from civilization. Instead of replying, he put his hand inside her pocket and the gesture made me freak out. I was about to shout bloody murder, when she took out her mobile and said, “Come here”. That even freaked me out. I was wondering a stick body like mine do not need any fucking other souls to kill , her elephant body is enough.

Then entered a tiny creature who must be a cross breed of squirrel and monkey. And she introduces him to be my potential boyfriend. But from which angle? He talks as if he is sentenced to death the next second asking for all lame desires of his life.

I walked with those demented freaks to a coffee to fulfil the loser’s long lasting desire and went home, where my roomies had something even crazier with this retard.